I never, ever, expected this to happen to me. When it did, it really caught me off guard. I'd sworn to my friends that I would never allow myself to be put in this position. And oh boy, was I ever wrong.
It was January, the beginning of a New Year. I was bound and determined that THIS year would be one of change, both professionally and personally. Actually the professional part wasn't difficult to figure out. I had a plan on how to succeed and I knew what the end goal was.
The social part? That was not so easy to fix. I hadn't been on a serious date for about two years and my love life was best described as drought ridden. Though I was a bit shy about meeting someone new, I was due for some relief, so I threw caution to the wind.
I figured that the strategy for my career could just as easily be applied to my social life. The first order of business was to meet new people or at the very least become more open to meeting new people. So I decided that instead of driving to work every day, I'd take the subway. I did that for about two months and met some business types while commuting.
Sadly, there was no spark. As for the rest, they looked like educated guys. I mean most of them were focused on their book or newspaper. I both require and admire intelligence in a man (or a woman for that matter), but I'd rather discover that through conversation, not observation.
Finally, I elected to take another approach. A friend suggested internet dating. She tried the process and had been successful so she solicited me for the procedure. After a bit of thought and much coaxing by my exuberant colleagues, I decided to give this personal dating thing a shot.
After much profile tweaking, I was ready to start searching online profiles. There sure were a lot to go through; I was spoiled for choice. I narrowed it down to five and contacted them. The first reply I received was from "Joe". After emailing for a couple of weeks and chatting on the phone I agreed to meet him for dinner. We talked for hours and I just knew it was the start of a special time for me.
The next time we saw each other the weather was not cooperating, so we decided to have lunch and then go back to his apartment to watch the basketball game (we're both big fans). The talking and laughter became more serious later in the afternoon when Joe announced he had something important to tell me.
My stomach did a somersault as I braced myself for what came next. Not in my wildest dreams could I have predicted what Joe was about to say. He was recently separated and his marriage was basically over. And his wife was pregnant. While I digested the news, all I could think of was that once the baby was born this would be a happy reunited family. My decision about what to do next wasn't difficult to make, but it was difficult to actually do.
I said goodbye and vowed not to contact this man again. It's been over a year since I last spoke to him, and although there is a certain sadness over what might have been, I feel good about my decision. I kept my online dating profile and have met a man who truly could be my own.
I did learn a valuable lesson from this experience, and that was to never say what you won't do. The ladies who once told me that you will never know until you experience something were correct. This was nothing that I planned, but once I knew I decided to get out of it before the relationship became too serious. Now I truly understand.
It was January, the beginning of a New Year. I was bound and determined that THIS year would be one of change, both professionally and personally. Actually the professional part wasn't difficult to figure out. I had a plan on how to succeed and I knew what the end goal was.
The social part? That was not so easy to fix. I hadn't been on a serious date for about two years and my love life was best described as drought ridden. Though I was a bit shy about meeting someone new, I was due for some relief, so I threw caution to the wind.
I figured that the strategy for my career could just as easily be applied to my social life. The first order of business was to meet new people or at the very least become more open to meeting new people. So I decided that instead of driving to work every day, I'd take the subway. I did that for about two months and met some business types while commuting.
Sadly, there was no spark. As for the rest, they looked like educated guys. I mean most of them were focused on their book or newspaper. I both require and admire intelligence in a man (or a woman for that matter), but I'd rather discover that through conversation, not observation.
Finally, I elected to take another approach. A friend suggested internet dating. She tried the process and had been successful so she solicited me for the procedure. After a bit of thought and much coaxing by my exuberant colleagues, I decided to give this personal dating thing a shot.
After much profile tweaking, I was ready to start searching online profiles. There sure were a lot to go through; I was spoiled for choice. I narrowed it down to five and contacted them. The first reply I received was from "Joe". After emailing for a couple of weeks and chatting on the phone I agreed to meet him for dinner. We talked for hours and I just knew it was the start of a special time for me.
The next time we saw each other the weather was not cooperating, so we decided to have lunch and then go back to his apartment to watch the basketball game (we're both big fans). The talking and laughter became more serious later in the afternoon when Joe announced he had something important to tell me.
My stomach did a somersault as I braced myself for what came next. Not in my wildest dreams could I have predicted what Joe was about to say. He was recently separated and his marriage was basically over. And his wife was pregnant. While I digested the news, all I could think of was that once the baby was born this would be a happy reunited family. My decision about what to do next wasn't difficult to make, but it was difficult to actually do.
I said goodbye and vowed not to contact this man again. It's been over a year since I last spoke to him, and although there is a certain sadness over what might have been, I feel good about my decision. I kept my online dating profile and have met a man who truly could be my own.
I did learn a valuable lesson from this experience, and that was to never say what you won't do. The ladies who once told me that you will never know until you experience something were correct. This was nothing that I planned, but once I knew I decided to get out of it before the relationship became too serious. Now I truly understand.
About the Author:
This article was developed by the staff of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can read thousands of professional dating articles.
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